


The Party Ambulance in its Natural Environment

by MrsAlot



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Awkwardness, Clubbing, Other, Partying, Unrequited Love, danceing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 04:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4005859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsAlot/pseuds/MrsAlot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodimus and a few others go looking for their CMO, they find him somewhere they would never have guessed... learn some interesting facts... and see something they will never forget...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Party Ambulance in its Natural Environment

**Author's Note:**

> you can take a bot away from a party... but you can't take the party out of the bot.
> 
> even after millions of years of war... a party bot will always jump at the chance to stretch their wires and shake their aft!

“So… the tracker say’s… he’s in there?” Drift asked slowly, eye’s shifting over the bright garish neon lights.  
“Yes… it indicates those are his current coordinates.” Ultra Magnus frowned, looking at the readout on his device again.  
“But… but that’s a club!” Rodimus yelled, frantically pointing at the building to emphasise his point.  
“Yeah! A funky club!” Whirl said, bobbing helm to the loud music that could be heard coming out of the door.

“That’s… not the kinda place I would EVER picture Ratchet in.” Drift said shaking his head. True enough, none of them would in a million cycles have suggested that this would be where their CMO would choose to spend his shore leave.  
“There must be something wrong with the locator.” Rodimus grumbled, moving to grab the devise. Magnus swiftly moved it out of his reach.  
“I can assure you, it is working perfectly.” He said dryly.

“Well, why don’t we just ask the door staff if Ratchet when in?” Trailcutter offered. It sounded reasonable and not having another plan, they made their way over to the main entrance. A long line of intergalactic beings queued up along the wall, all waiting for the chance to be let in. It was clearly a very popular destination. Three large muscly bouncers with verging numbers of arms and a slightly smaller alien in a fine suite stood at the entrance. 

“Good evening gentle beings!” The doorman smiled as they approached, his large hands spread in welcome. “Looking for a good night’s fun? You’ve come to the right place, its Mecha night! Free fuel for all our mechanized patrons!” He smiled widely, sharp teeth glinting. “I can guarantee… a lot of attention if you fellas are looking for some ‘company’.” he winked. A Group of ladies near the front of the line giggled and pointed not so discreetly at the group, they were clearly appraising the aesthetics of Cybertronians.

“As fun as that sounds, actually… we were just looking for a member of our crew. Have you seen this bot?” Rodimus asked, holding out a sub-spaced pad with Ratchets image on it. The doorman peered at the pad only briefly before grinning.  
“Oh him! Yeah! Came here hours ago.” He nodded, vigorously. That admission sent a shock through the group.  
“Really?” Drift asked, disbelief clear on his face.

“Yeah, with two Kreocok gals.” He chuckled dirtily. “You know, the species with the tails and the big-OI! You two! I told you, you’re not coming in! Clear off!” The suited organic yelled suddenly at two young looking humanoids that were trying to sneak into the que. They slunk off dejectedly. The doorman’s scowl melted as he turned back to the Lost lighters. “You lot are welcome to come in and have look for him, as I said, free bar for mecha. Though you will have to check your weapons at the door.”

The crew took up the offer and entered the club, they checked their weapons at the locker and only left after 20 minuets of trying to convince Whirl to give up his most beloved gun and then only after Ultra Magnus had grilled the attendants for a further ten minuets about their safety and security precautions.

They thought the music was loud from outside, inside it was deafening. It was a fast electronic tempo and had a booming base so strong that they could feel it vibrating through the floor and into their frames. The affect was… not utterly unpleasant. The laser light strobe was dazzling and flashed in brilliant green and red in the darkness. An array of coloured lights flashed and swept over the patrons. 

All around were the bodies of hot sweaty organics. The stench was almost over powering to the robots sensitive olfactory sensors. There were hundreds of beings packed in there and with all the different levels in the vast room, it wasn’t going to be easy to locate their missing MCO. Ultra Magnus tapped the side of his helm, indicating they should use their shortwave bot-to-bot communication, there was no chance of being heard in this racket.

//So… where do we start?// Drift asked looking around.  
//I’ll check out the bar!// Trailcutter practically yelled and scarpered off before they could stop him.  
Ultra Magnus just stood stock still, statue like in the middle of the crowd, a firm, un-impressed look across his face, his optics sliding around suspiciously.

Roddy couldn’t help and smile at all the pretty beings that passes his way, they cast him appreciative looks and he even got a few kisses blown his way. Whirl was busy gigging away to the music, his head bobbing this way and that. Drift looked clearly uncomfortable, his armour flared in irritation. Rodimus guessed it was because the tunes were throwing of his tranquil mojo. After some charades with the bar keep, Trailcutter weaved his way back through the crowd to them… drink in hand. 

//Well? What did he say?// Roddy asked, jumping a little as he felt someone pat his aft.  
//He kinda pointed over there// The black and grey mech said, pointing to one of the upper levels as he gulped at his drink.  
//You just had to didn’t you?// Drift scowled at him, looking pointedly at the drink.  
//What! It was free! You really expect me to pass up a free drink?// The force field generator grinned, no sign of remorse on his face. 

The group slowly made their way through the dancing body, making sure they stayed as close together as possible so they wouldn’t get lost. Around them they could see other mechanical beings, all the centre of attention. There were few but seemed equally spread out… and each seemed to have a gaggle of organics around them… showing a great deal of interest… 

//This must be some kind of fetish night.// Drift said gravely, it brought back dark memories from his seedy past, of nights he’d been employed at clubs like this to service bots with the taste for racer frames…  
//Do organics really have kinks for mecha?// Trailcutter asked, his question was answered as they passed a seating area, there was a mech with organics around him. To the Cybertronians he was an ugly, clunky mess of miss-matched plating, but the beings surrounding him seemed to adore him. They were stroking and worshiping his plating like he was some kind of god.

//I’d say that’s a defiant yes.// Rodimus said, looking away as one female crawled onto the mechs lap and started to kiss his mouth slit.  
//Wow… I never knew…// The black and grey mech stared as he walked past.  
//Makes me question even more why Ratchet would ever be in a place like this?// The ex Decepticon muttered.

They ascended the stairs, up here there were sections of raised dance floors where a few patrons could strut their stuff for the rest of the crowd. Ultra Magnus suggested that they spilt up and meet back at this spot in ten minuets, or call if they found their CMO. Each taking a different direction, Drift walked slowly out into the throng of bodies, Many touched him and tried to get him to dance with him, but he did his best to give a pleasant smile and shake his head, turning them down politely and not convey the complete unease he felt being in a place like this… the sooner they found Ratchet and could get out, the better… 

Rodimus wasn’t having much luck as he scanned the crowd, it was made even more difficult because of the random flashing lighting and everyone dancing so hard to the music. The lights and the constant, shifting movement made it hard to lock on and analyse anyone for long. He was about to turn round when a croaked sounding Drift filtered into his audio, he told them all too come to the back as quick as possible, his voice sounded startled. Rodimus fearing that it could be an emergency, fought his way through the dancing people, he soon spotted Drift and went to his side.

He couldn’t see Ratchet with him and when he looked closer, Drift was stock still, jaw hanging open and his optics as big a saucers. When he got close enough to feel it, his EM filed was a flurry of irritation, anger and… a great deal of envy and arousal. The red and gold mech frowned, following the swordsmechs gaze… and found himself mimicking his TIC posture. It was only moments before the other three joined them. Upon seeing the state of the two younger bots, Magnus demanded to know what was wrong and where was Ratchet… Rodimus just pointed to the raised stage…

//Holy moly…// Ultra Magnus face twitched, blinking fast as he tried to process what he saw.  
//No way…// Trailcutter gawped, almost dropping his drink.  
//WHOOT! Go doc bot!// Whirl cackled happily, waving his arms and whooping loudly.

There, up on the elevated stages, where a throng of six bodies danced, was Ratchet. He was dancing like he’d been made to do nothing else, sandwiched between two curvy, scantily clad Organic females. They were draped adoringly over the medic, pressed up against him so their soft bodies conformed to his shape. He held the girls hand behind him and his other hand was placed on the woman hip in front. Their movements were all timed with the rhythmic music that blasted around them. Gyrating and swaying seductively together in an erotic display.

But it was the look on the mechs face that captivated everyone. There was a smile there unlike anything the others had ever seen on the old medics face. He was happy and he was free… Ratchet was truly lost, enjoying the freedom and exhilaration of being completely irresponsible and just letting himself go and just enjoy the moment. He was free form the stress and the worry of his long hard life. While he danced he didn’t have to worry about saving lives or think about all those fallen soldiers. All that matters was the music and the dance. It took centuries off his face. 

Roddy snapped himself out of his stupor, looking back at his TIC. Drift still couldn’t take his optics off the medic, they were glued to his swaying hips and his raptured face. Drift had such a crush on the medic it wasn’t even funny… he could understand all of what was floating off the former con’s EM field. He was angry at Ratchet for making them worry about him and at the two women that were currently groping and running their hands freely over his plating. The envy at them also, because Ratchet was letting them touch him in such a blatantly sexual way. How long had Drift wanted to hold, touch and see the CMO in such a way?

Unfortunately, they were running out of time, they needed to get back to the Lost Light. Rodimus reluctantly pinged Ratchet through the close comm line. It startled the medic so much it made him jump nearly of the stage. He instinctually, turned to shield the woman behind him and gabbed the girl around his front, pulling he close, protecting them both form possible danger. But the action only making the women giggle, the female behind just wrapped her arms around the mech and the one in front to grind back into him that much more vigorously.

The carefree look vanished form the medics face and his regular grumpy expression returned, when he spotted who had signalled, putting all the years back on him. Rodimus almost hated himself for doing it. It was nice to see that type of bright smile on the old bots face. Roddy waved at him to come down. Ratchet rolled his optics and nodded. He tore himself away form the crowed, but hands clung to him, reluctant to let him go. All the people beckoned him to come back to them, the mech raised his hands in a motion to give him a moment. 

//We’ve been trying to get in touch with you!// Drift growled down the comm. line as the medic joined them. //You had m-us worried!//  
//We aren’t scheduled to leave till tomorrow!// Ratchet snapped back, glaring at the young mech. //And I’m big enough to look after myself!//  
//Yeah… we can see that.// Whirl sniggered, waving a pincer at the dancers, who happily waved back.

//Well there’s been a change of plans.// Drift huffed.  
//Someone just had to get on the wrong side of the dock manager// Rodimus said flatly, casting an accusing optic at his SIC. Ultra Magnus looked stoic and unrepentant, one would even say proud of himself.  
//His health and safety procedures were appalling and I had to report him. I have no regrets// He announced without any hint of remorse.

//Be that as it may, it now means we now have less then half an hour before we need to move or we’re gonna get slapped with a hefty fine and they impound the Lost Light.// Rodimus sighed. //We came to find you cuz you weren’t responding to hails.//  
//We thought you were in trouble.// Drift added, still looking unhappy at the medic. Ratchets irritation deflated somewhat and he let out a sigh.

//I’m sorry, I guess the signals not been able to get through while I’ve been in here. I didn’t think anything of it since I thought I had until tomorrow.//  
//I’m really sorry to spoil your fun, Ratch. It looks like you were having a good time.// Rodimus grinned good-naturedly, he really was sorry for disturbing the doctor. He worked so hard, for so long, he deserved to be able to stretch his cables and just have some fun. For a brief moment the bright, carefree smile returned, lighting up his face as the mech laughed.  
//Yeah, I was.// They all could feel it in the medics EM field. It was open, relaxed and light, not its usual, guarded, and controlled self.

//Rodimus, time is ticking, we need to get back.// Ultra Magnus cut in. the red and gold mech sighed. It was such a same they had to leave, especially after seeing some of the moves Ratchet was using.  
//Alright, lets get outta here then.// Signalling all to start making their way back to the entrance.  
//aww! This place is so cool though!// Whirl whined as a lovely looking organic male was petting his helm. Ultra Magnus just grabbed him by the shoulder and started to drag him through the crowd. They all slowly made their way to the exit, Magnus grabbed Tailcutter on the way to stop him form going back to the free bar again.

They picked up their weapons and were soon out the door, Drift sighing in relief at being out of the confines of the club, he flared his armour to let the cool night air flow underneath, The others soon following suite. It wasn’t till they were outside and out of the dark club and strobing lights that they saw just what a state their medic was in. The others stared at him, they had never seen the usually pristine and clean doctor so dishevelled. Splashes of what looked like brightly coloured paint were all over his frame, covering him from helm to ped. He looked like a piece of modern art.

“What in Primus’s name have you been doing?!” Ultra Magnus cried, Reverting back to speech as they were now capable of being heard. He looked scandalised, the urge to throw the medic over his shoulder and go and scrub him clean was strong. Ratchet looked down at himself, but shrugged nonchalantly.   
“Earlier we were down in the pit. They release paint onto the crowed during the songs.” Ratchet grinned to himself, clearly remembering the moment. “You can also grab paint guns and balloons and throw them at people. Ha, It was great.”

“That sounds so… awesome!” Rodimus grinned, now even more envious at the medic for clearly having so much fun without them. “Who knew you were such a part animal Ratch.”  
“I wasn’t always old ya’know.” Ratchet grumped folding his arms. “I’ll have you know back in my days at medical school, I was known as the Party Ambulance.” It was all of 5 seconds before everyone started laughing. Even Magnus had let out a snigger. “Yeah, yeah… laugh it up…” Ratchet sighed.  
“Party Ambulance?!” Whirl cackled manically. 

“Ra-chet!” Came a delicate voice from across the street. Everyone quickly shut up and looked to see the two women Ratchet had been dancing with heading over. They too were covered in splatters of paint, though theirs looked a little more streaky form all the sweating during their vigorous dancing. Ratchets sour expression melted as the two scantily clad very buxom organics approached.  
“Ah! Girls, ya should of stayed inside.” The medic said gently, “Your gonna get cold out here.”

“But you leaving us?” The smaller one said sadly, her four big eyes looking up at him with disappointment, her tail twitching.  
“I’m afraid so. Crew came to get me.” Ratchet smiled apologetically, thumbing over to the other mechs. “Gotta go when the captain says.”  
“OH! But such shame. We had good time planned!” The taller one cried loudly, her full lips pouting.  
“I know, I’m really sorry gals.” They were surprised to see that the medic seemed just as disappointed as the females.

“Shame… such shame.” She sighed, her friend looking equally as put out. “Ah well… if must go, you must go.”  
“Was very lovely to make your acquaintance.” The small one said with a sad smile.  
“Yes, have very much enjoyed our evening with you.” The tall one nodded in agreement.  
“Same here, thank you for showing me a wonderful night.” Ratchet bowed his helm in thanks. 

“All is not lost… if, by chance, ever you come here again…” the tall one smiled mischievously as she licked her finger and brazenly wrote on the doctors glass chest, writing through the caked on paint to leave a series of alien numbers, the glass squeaking under her finger tip as she went. The other Cybertronians watch, shocked at the brazen and intimate touch. She finished with a flourish and a sexy smile. “Call us, yes?” the grin that appeared on the medics face was as raunchy and the gleam in his optics left nothing to their imaginations.

“Oh, darling’s you have my word on it.” He purred, shocking the Lost Lighters, it only made the two women giggle uncontrollably. That wasn’t the end of the shock though as the taller one reached up and pulled Ratchets helm down for a rather deep kiss… which the medic was clearly more then happy to return. His servos coming up to gently rest on her shapely hips

Rodimus cast a worried sideways glance at his TIC, he could feel the tension building in his field, Drifts grip on his swords tighten to the point of the metal was creaking with stress. He was about 30 seconds away form reverting back to Deadlock and decapitating the organic where she stood. It only got worse when after they broke apart the smaller female grabbed the Doctor and did the same. Ratchet laughing as he was pulled into another luxuriously sensual kiss. Drift had to look away and stomped off a few paces to cool off before he did something he would regret. Roddy felt for the poor love sick mech. 

Once Ratchet was freed form the lip lock, the two women smiled and waved their goodbyes as they headed back into the club, blowing kisses to the medic all the way. The old bot chuckled and waved fair well with a fond smile. He watched them disappeared into the club before looking down at his chest, committing the numbers to memory… just in case…

“Well, well, look who’s go a little orga kink?” Whirl said slyly, throwing an arm around the doctor. “You like a little fleshy action there Doc? Enjoy a good squishy do ya?”  
“Ew! Whirl Really?!” Tailcutter cringed. “I don’t wanna think about that!”  
“First off… don’t you start Whirl or I will weld your claws together, and second,” The mech’s face split into a rarely seen utterly roughish grin, “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. Squishes’ are surprisingly very ‘accommodating’” 

As his suggestive words really sunk in, they were all further scandalized when the medic winked and click his glossa at them in a cheeky display. The doctor then turned sharply on his heal an set off back in the direction of the dock, a spring in his step… leaving the other mechs in stunned silence. Rodimus was kicking himself, he really should have brought Rewind along… nobot was ever going to believe this…


End file.
